Life or Something like…Misogyny

Aftertaste vol 1 : I think this movie might have triggered me

Welcome to the first edition of The Aftertaste, a new series within the Happy hour Club — think of it like the end of the night debrief with your best friends over cocktails (or mocktails) where we dissect everything from movies to restaurants to that overhyped $40 serum TikTok made you buy. This is where I will spill my thoughts on whatever I’ve recently consumed — pop culture, food, drinks, I mean whatever, and share the aftertaste it left behind sometimes sweet, sometimes disappointing, sometimes deeply unhinged. Either way, I’m talking about it.

Spoiler Warning: if you have never seen this movie and still plan to (??) maybe circle back later because I am giving it all away.

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It’s 2002 when Life or something like it was released and I had to see it. I was obsessed with Angelina Jolie ever since Gone in 60 seconds — where she plays a badass woman working on cars, dominating in a male drenched field. As a kid I was completely drawn to seeing strong women on the screen.

Of course, I was still a sucker for a good rom com, but rom but let’s be real: 90s early 00’s weren’t exactly champions of female empowerment.

In this one, Jolie plays Lanie, a local Seattle TV reporter portrayed as a selfish, shallow, superficial and emotionally hollow woman with a meaningless life. When, in reality, she is a self-assured, confident, intelligent, ambitious — a woman who knows what she wants and is working her ass off to get it.

She’s assigned a fluff piece to interview a psychic homeless man — Prophet Jack — about whether the Seahawks will win their next game. Casual. During the interview Jack tells her she is going to die in a week.

Cue the emotional spiral. Lanie starts questioning everything - her life her career, her future. She turns to her fiancé for support — oh did I forget to mention she’s engaged? Yup. And to a man who is just as superficial as everyone accuses her of being.

When she opens up to him and try’s to have a vulnerable conversation he immediately shuts it down. Instead of listening or engaging like, I don’t know an actual partner, he takes her to a baseball field. Because apparently his idea of emotional support is batting practice.

She decided to breaks up with him then and there (rightfully so) , then he hits her with :

“You know they are pretty much lined up behind you, Lanie. Might want to take a minute to reconsider.”

Ah yes. Nothing says emotional intimacy quite like a veiled threat. Because apparently if a woman dares to evolve she better remember she’s replaceable.

After the break up Lanie , still mid spiral, is trying to find support from those around her - and honestly it’s kind of heartbreaking how alone she is. Her ex-fiancé ? A jerk. Her sister? Jealous. Her Father? Checked out ever since her mother’s death. It’s clear that as a career driven woman everyone around her is either intimidated, dismissive, or just outright unsupportive. No one is cheering her on.

Which brings us to Pete, her mediocre moody love interest, who does the absolute most to belittle Lanie and her ambition from sabotaging one of her interviews by fucking with the mic to distort the sound of her voice or makes comments like this gem while she is expressing her fear over Jacks vision. :

“ Look I can understand why you’d be upset about this. If I found out I only had a week left to live and realized that my entire life was a meaningless quest for the approval of others — I’d be upset too.”

And we are supposed to be fawning over this guy as if he is gently peeling back her layers so she can finally understand the real meaning of life. Let’s call it what it is : emotional negging dressed up as philosophical insight.”

The message? That her life— all of it : her hard work, her goals, her drive— is meaningless unless she finds love with a man. Not just any man but this man. The one who belittles her under the guise of “helping her grow”

This isn’t just a Life or Something Like It problem. This was the rom-com formula of the 90s and 2000’s. Think Sweet home Alabama, Notting Hill, The Devil Wears Prada, 13 going on 30. Women with dreams and ambition who inevitably get “put in their place by” love. Over and over again we are shown that a woman can either be successful or be loved. But not both.

Lanie, just like all those women, is shoved into that same tired binary: ambition or love. A woman with goals? Hollow. A woman who gives it all up for a man finally has meaning. She can still be a reporter, sure- but just a local one. Not a New York prime time Anchor. Melanie can still design clothes — but only for a small town boutique, not New York fashion Week.

Women can be successful, as long as it’s cute and manageable. As long as it doesn’t make anyone uncomfortable. As long as they are still likable, still soft, still willing to give it all up at a moments notice for a man.

It’s no wonder so many of us, including myself, have internalized misogyny after watching these movies growing up. We learned that being strong made you undesirable and being successful made you lonely. That love only came once you proved you were willing to shrink.

When Lanie finally gets the opportunity of a lifetime to fly to New York for a live interview with legendary anchor and fellow ambitious woman Deborah Conners She is celebrated by her boss and entire office. It’s the moment she’s worked her ass off for. And where does the camera cut to ? Pete. Sulking in the background. Alone. Pouting like a man whose girlfriend just got her dream job and didn’t immediately turn it down to make him feel more important

When Lanie finally finds him, he is cold, distant, and making snarky little remarks. Cuz sure I guess thats how you respond to the woman you allegedly care about when she’s having a major career breakthrough? And they call women manipulative.

He twists her ambition, her drive, her years of hard work into a character flaw. Gets in her head so much, that during the live broadcast Lanie turns to Deborah and asks if she regrets choosing ambition over a love she had when she was 25. Twenty five !! I mean our frontal lobes have barely finished developing. And that’s the age women are supposed to have chosen the one or else?

The irony of Life or Something Like It is that the whole movie is trying to nudge Lanie into a “real” life — with meaning” by choosing love over ambition. And when she finally caves, turning down opportunity to meet with the New York network head to go home to Pete … she gets shot. Literally. Flat lines. Dies! Okay for like a minute, but still !

The symbolism isn’t even subtle : choose love over self and ambition and you still lose. It’s the classic trap of womanhood— sacrifice either way. A metaphor baked into every romantic comedy of that era.

In the end, Lanie tells us, “ A part of me did die that day. The part that didn’t know how to live.” And Look I do believe life should be more than work, we should enjoy our time on this planet. But god forbid a strong woman wants a career, a sense of self, and a love story where her partner has his own identity and ambitions and still shows up as her biggest supporter. Is that too much to ask? Apparently, in the 90s and early 2000’s rom coms… yes.